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Victims Of Rihanna’s Box, Curse Or Coincidence?

There’s an old Afro-Caribbean spell that can be used to entrap a wandering lover, or to catch the attention of that one person you’ve longed for. The spell involves obtaining blood from a sacrificial chicken or lamb, and some bodily fluid from the soon to be significant other. Add some chanting, spices, rum, prayers to your ancestors, and allow about a week for the spell to work.
Ladies, for all you Mary Jane types out there who have man troubles – no need to worry there’s a spell just for you. Bring your future bae passion tea lemonade, sweetened, from Starbucks with a few drops of your own feminine fluid – its called pheromone magic. Within in no time he’ll be attracted to only your scent, and instead of checking his phone while he’s sleep, you’ll be trying to come up with excuses to get away from him like how Rae tried to get away from Lazarus – yuck.
There’s one woman who has been beyond successful in getting any man she wants, possibly by utilizing some of the aforementioned practices, and any man who has tried to escape has had to face her wrath. This statuesque femme fatale was recently spotted at this year’s 88th Academy Awards scoping out her latest victim, Leonardo Dicaprio.
            None other than the man-eater herself, Rihanna, reportedly asked the first time Oscar winner out on a date. While fans wait to see how this unfolds – a revisit of past victims may help predict how this rendezvous will turn out. Two of the most famous celebrities caught in RiRi’s web never fully recovered – Shia Lebouf, and Chris Brown. In 2009, Lebouf opened up to the media about his infatuation with the Barbados Babe, and his brief romance with her. Soon after, it seems, the actor has been on a downward spiral, his nutty antics precede his talent.
A few years ago, the actor was spotted at the red carpet event for the film Nymphomaniac with a paper bag over his head that read, “I am not famous anymore.” Most recently, he spent 24 hours straight in an elevator as apart of his public art project #ELEVATE. Ri’s box was so good apparently it caused the young actor to hide his face and spend 24 hours confined in an elevator. Chris Brown didn’t have any better luck – he and Rihanna ended up in one of the most highly publicized domestic violence cases in recent history. Since then he’s suffered from various mental disorders, and has had several run-ins with the law. Some of the lesser-known ex’s of Ri have also suffered as result of her feminine voodoo.
JR Smith, Shooting guard for the Cleveland Cavaliers, produced really bad shooting stats during game 1of the 2015 NBA Finals where Rihanna was present. The two had a brief stint in 2013, and didn’t end on good terms. Remember Rashard Lewis? He dated Rihanna for a little while, and ended up with a whirlwind of bad luck after the break up. Shortly after parting ways with the Caribbean Queen, Lewis was suspended from the Orlando Magic after failing a drug test. The news came as a shock to NBA fans that viewed the player as a clean-cut kind of guy. Lewis seemed just as shocked, and contested that he was not aware that the over counter drug he was taking contained an illegal substance.
Major League Baseball Outfielder Matt Kemp had his chance of obtaining the 2011 MVP stolen by another outfielder, Ryan Braun, right after he ended his relationship with Rihanna. Have all of these men been placed under some sort of spell? Is it a mere coincidence that after cutting ties with the pop-diva, these men either struggle to keep their sanity, maintain success, or both?
There’s no coincidence here, and the list will continue to grow, unfortunately.

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Will Eady
Born and raised in the birthplace of Funk, and arguably the birthplace of Rock n’ Roll, music is in my veins. If names like Bootsy Collins, and the Ohio Players ring a bell, then you know where I come from. As a musician and poet myself, I have an appreciation for art that hasn’t been inundated by the agendas of major labels and networks. Recently I’ve been sharing music and connecting with artists via social media. Follow me on Instagram @mainstream_music_isgarbage.