“Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none.” –William Shakespeare
As I rebuild the wall that I destroyed for the wrong people, I think about how hard it will be for the right people to gain my trust. I let people into my struggle, and they offered me all that I needed, because I never ask. They expected some sort of reward for their help, not knowing what I had planned. My thank you was going to be spectacular. It isn’t fair, for someone to reap what other had sown, but I can’t take letting vampires feed off me any longer. They know that I’m on to something, and I ask for help endlessly, but they can’t hear me. They’re deaf to my cries for help.
“I’m somewhere between psychotic and iconic.” Drake reminds me that I’m not alone, he too trusted the wrong people once before. He was the furthest thing from perfect, and his place at the throne reminds me to stay at my grind, and to continue doing the things I keep secret from everyone.
“I’m somewhere between I want it and I got it.”
It’s not easy making a name for yourself and establishing credibility. It’s a long and steep climb, but since I’ve done most of the climbing by my lonesome, It feels like I got it. Everything I want is just a few rails higher.
“This the life for me, my momma told me this was right for me.” My mother, the humble teacher, also known as my number one supporter. Embarrassing herself to make me happy, I can’t stop until her happiness is everlasting. She loves unconditionally, unlike the foes I’ve gained. They used my sexuality against me endlessly, they tried to change me. The moment my mother found out, it was an accident. She didn’t care but she did feel left out. Everyone knew but her, so she made sure I felt bad that I didn’t tell her. Thats when I learned what unconditional love was.
My love isn’t for the faint of heart
If your heart proves faded or ill-defined, prepare to say hello to my worst behavior. I’ll give you a taste of your own medicine, but only a taste, even though you’ve given me a full meal. “F**ka never loves us,” even though my love stretched the continent and circled back. Evil demons out to make a buck, they don’t care about your well-being. If I died in three days, would you care?
A lesson to those who love too much, ask yourself if someones help is sincere. You’d be amazed at your answer. “M**F**ka I done grown up.” I am now hip to your lies and deceit, foes hiding their real faces. You’ve destroyed my trust, the trust I now lack for those who actually prove worthy of it. Someone I know is a true friend will have to wait to know that she has my trust, my heart, and a seat at the throne I’m working so hard to get to. Lend a helping hand because it’s the right thing to do and not because it will help you sleep at night. There is a difference.